Well swung: A guide to British swingers - part III

Ewan Morrison, автор "SWUNG", делится своими советами и наблюдениями - Часть III

Читать 1-5...
Читать 6-10...

11. Swinging is addictive
Over the next six months we had five different encounters - and constantly wanted more. The list of erotic possibilities had to be seen through. There is a sense of accumulation within swinging. Once things like good looks, age and class background have been dispensed with, people then generally tend towards quantity - bigger tits, bigger dicks, more people at the same time. So it was that she wanted to have - and she felt embarrassed by this because it was a clichéd fantasy - a black man with a big dick. So just like shopping on ebay, I found her one. Twelve miles away on the outskirts. He was 5ft 11in tall, aged 23, worked in a call centre, did a bit of modelling, was very good-looking. Again a bar meet and we trusted him. He drove back to his, we followed. He owned the property he said, had a tenant, he'd just split up with his girlfriend, it was best if the tenant didn't know we were there. We were to be discreet. He and I took turns having sex with Joanne. She said she had never been happier in her life.

12. You start to become a theorist
After a few encounters we started to analyse the scene, compare observations, draw up theories. For example, the debate on whether threesomes are better than fours. In a threesome as a couple, you have one toy (boy or girl) between you. With fours (and chat-rooms talk a lot about this) there tend to be complications, as it's almost impossible for all four to find each other attractive. One person will always be left out. And people have complex reasons too for swinging. Perhaps a man doesn't find his wife attractive anymore. He's doing it just to get some action. Or she's doing it to test the boundaries of their love, or to push it to breaking point. Then again, there are those so strong in their commitment that they love to watch their partners having pleasure with others, and are not threatened by it or made jealous. Joanne and I debated all these things. We drew up lists of things we'd learned:
There are a great number of couples with "bi-curious fems" looking for a woman - so it's more than just every man's fantasy of having two women in bed. More often than not they'd say: "partner not to be present"; or "partner to watch"; or, in one memorable ad, "partner to be in same building but not room".
Swingers often travel great distances to meet. They spend whole weekends together. They eat, sleep, watch TV, walk in the park. One couple travelled up from Manchester to stay with us.
You start writing diary entries like this: "Michel Houellebecq proposes that sex has become commodified - a currency - that there are those who live lives of poverty because they are unattractive, old, poor..." That sexual liberation has, in fact, oppressed millions of people. But swinging is the opposite - it is a free, open exchange, with no hierarchy or competition, no survival of the fittest. It runs counter to the prevailing consumerist ethos.

13. After a while you need to get some distance on exactly what it is you're doing
One moment, perhaps on our sixth encounter, when I'd been watching Joanne having sex, very complex emotions began running through me. Did I care for her? Did watching other people having sex turn me on? Could I live like this with a female partner - vicariously through other people. It was about this time that I started writing about swinging. To try to put these emotions into place. A novel took shape - about a couple so much in love but still they needed more. I didn't think at the time that I was being a "naked anthropologist". I wasn't doing research for the book. So many couples saying it made their love stronger. Did I want to love Joanne? I realised we had started from the wrong premise. The love has to be there from the start. You can't find it through swinging. And maybe I was scared of how much commitment it would take to see this through. More so than in a conventional relationship.
Joanne found my detachment frustrating. I encouraged her to see other people without me. As far as I know, she didn't swing with others - I was her swinging partner - but she did start seeing other guys. I, too, had started seeing other women. And strangely, the confidence that swinging had given me seemed to bring women to me who wanted to explore their sexuality. Over the next six months with three different women, I swung, with couples, with single men and women. And each time it was the same feeling: I am missing something.
The process fascinated me - breaking the cliché that it is men who want to screw around and women who want stability. Of course, many would think this was coercion on my behalf - that these women were only doing this to please me. But in each case, it was the woman who had the guts to see things through.

Перевод от Google (Sorry, guys)

Источник: Independent